Dear Visitor, I would like to warn you that the Jokes contained herewith require a reader who has a higher-than average IQ, The ability to apply wisdom and the wisdom to ignore wisdom in the quest for humour. My name is Sbongisipho Gift Gwala and I am The Stupid Joker. Laugh hard and then add your jokes in the comments section.
===
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
2.The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
3. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
4. Death is hereditary.
5. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
6. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
7. When there's a will, I want to be in it.
8. Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
9. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
10. Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
11. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
12. He who laughs last thinks slowest
13. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
14. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
15. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
16. Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.
17. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
19. The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
20. Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
21. Most nudists are people you don't want to see naked
22. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
23. Hoot if you love peace and quiet.
24. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
25. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
26. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
27. A day without sunshine is like, night.
28. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
30. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
31. If 30% of all highjackings happen less then 20km away from home; why doesnt everyone just move 21km away.
32. If the blackbox is shatterproof, why dont they make the entire plane with the same stuff?
33. The best revenge for a man who steals your wife is to let him keep her.
34. We always see shop advertising offering "Free Gifts"; Is there any other type of a gift?
35.Birds of the same feather flock together and then...they poop on your car.
36. What do chickens think we taste like?
37. Opinions are like feet, everyone has a pair and they always stink.
38. In the beginning there was nothing and God said, let there be light and there was still nothing; but everyone could see it.
39. The early bird catches the worm, my advise to you; dont be an early worm.
40. Do you think that rice companies invented brown rice to avoid being labelled "racist"?
41. You are special and unique; just like everyone else.
42. I love kids, but I dont think I could eat a whole one.
43. If smoking in not allowed at petrol stations, why do they sell cigarettes there.44. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
45 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer
46. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
47. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
48. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
49. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
50 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
51. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
52. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
53. When in doubt, mumble.
54. I crack myself up.
55. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours
56. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
57. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
58. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
59. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
60. I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here.
Click the "Mr Ugly" tab for a laugh.
